Brick Wall

I remember it like it was last week.

I had come to my Junior year of college and had fullfilled all the prerequisites, so it was time to determine which direction I was to take from there.

My advisor was probably the most notable and respected professor on campus. He taught history and was very passionate about his studies. He made it clear to you the first day of class that there would be no chewing of gum, no hats worn by the guys and the door would remain closed from the prompt beginning of class to the very end… no coming and going as one pleased. But, had you gotten a late start and missed the closing of the door, no worries… you could just take notes outside in the hall. The man was so passionate about history, he would lecture at the top of his lungs. Often times, yelling to get his points across. I loved his class. I think I only took notes in the hall once. I hated to miss it.

However, once outside of the classroom, this empassioned man would become as humble and soft-spoken as a church mouse. The polar opposite of what you’d see in his classroom. If you passed him in the hallway, he would slightly hang his head down, nod to you and say something like “Good morning, Miss Simons. How are you doing today?”

Needless to say, having him as an advisor could be a tad bit… intimidating.

And I can still remember sitting there, in his office at the end of the hall. His little window looking out at the brick siding of the building next door. Surrounded by stacks of books, me sitting in the chair facing his desk and him behind the desk patiently probing… “Well, Jessica, what are your interests? What are your strengths? Where do you feel you should go from here? Do you enjoy Math? Science? Literature? (He already knew how well I ‘strived’ in History)….”

And I remember just sitting there. For three hours (not even exaggerating). Not having a clue as to where to go from there. Hating to waste his time, yet appreciating his patient insistence on helping me find the direction for my life.

As it turned out, that excruciating consultation ended with him relenting and saying “Well, there are a couple of electives here you might like. Would you like to take a psychology class or sociology class?” I said that sounded interesting enough. So, he signed me up for Psychology 101 and Sociology 101 and I ended up pursuing a Bachelors degree in Psychology with a minor in Sociology.

I then went on to work 15 more years at the job I held when we last spoke. The one in which I lost this May.

And now I feel like I’m back in that little office, surrounded by stacks of books, staring out a window facing that same brick wall, wondering….. “Where do I go from here?” While everyone else is just outside the door, scurrying about, actively chasing all their dreams, knowing exactly where they’re going in life.

Published in: on September 6, 2011 at 3:51 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. praying for that brick wall to be moved and a beautiful landscape to appear right before your very eyes.

    it’s so hard not knowing “what’s next”. i don’t know what’s next for you, but i DO know that you have the amazing gift of writing. you bless people with your words.

    praying for clarity for your future, sweet friend. excited to see what God has in store for you. 🙂

    much love,


    • Thanks, Jill. ♥

  2. I would really appreciate your honest contribution to my study. Thank you.

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