Set me Free

Self-imposed Lockdown


Last week, I got an email from my aunt with some cute little Christian cartoons attached. And I was just going along, enjoying the sweet little reminders, when I came across this one….

… And BAM!
It was just like a sucker punch to the gut. I just thought, “You know… this is me.” Self-imposed ‘lock-up’… or perhaps rather ‘lockdown’?

Let’s see…’lockdown’ is defined as: a state of containment or a restriction of progression. Yeah, that sounds about right. That is exactly where I’m at right now. And for some reason, insist on staying?!? Chained up tight by my fear and anxiety. Restricted by my doubts and discouragement. Ugh.

All the while, He’s telling me “Child, I came… I died… for YOU… to be FREE…”

I know, Father. But, I can’t seem to find my way out?

~


Last night, I sat down and watched ‘M*A*S*H’, for the first time in a while. And again, there was a theme of bondage and freedom.

In this particular episode, Hawkeye Pierce gets word of a fellow Army man purchasing a young Korean woman to be his bondservant. Seeing the value of this young lady, he is appalled by the very thought of this and very shrewdly, yet nobly ‘buys’ the girl back her freedom in a game of poker. He tries to explain to her that she is now free, but now she just willingly thinks she is to work for Hawkeye. He finally insists she goes back home to her family and puts her on a bus back there. Next thing he knows, she’s back in the “Swamp” eagerly serving them and doing what needs to be done there. It seems she just doesn’t grasp the concept of true freedom.

Or does she?

At first, I likened this story to that of the cartoon. And to that of my own life. And it was then that I found a very distinct difference.

The prisoners in the cartoon insist on staying ‘locked up’ in the prison yard. I insist on remaining held captive by all my fears and concerns. The sweet Korean girl… well, she’s much wiser. She insists on turning all her focus and energy on the one who purchased her freedom. And gladly honors and serves him with a joyful and willing heart. She doesn’t go back to her captor, nor does she go back home to simply wait to be ‘sold out’ to another. She embraces the one who paid for her ransom and surrenders her life completely to him. And because this is her choice, she finds purpose, meaning and contentment.

Father, help me to be this wise.

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Published in: on January 23, 2009 at 3:45 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This is so good, Jess. I love your MASH analogy–and description of the sweet gal lavishing all of her love and attention on the one who set her free. Praying that for you–and for me.

  2. You have such a gift for seeing these life lessons all around us that so many of us miss. Thanks for sharing your gift once again. Love, mom

  3. Nice job! Maybe we should start an Eastridge Writers' Club… You & Trey could be the charter members.


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